We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile!

First some general Borg jokes

We have engaged the Borg. The wedding will be Friday.

For assimilation, please press one. For assimilation, please press two. To resist, please press zero now. (Presses zero) We're sorry, but resistance is futile.

My other computer is a Borg.

My name's Borg, James Borg

And now it's time for the penguin on top of your television set to be assimilated.

Assimilate Mulder and you risk turning one man's resistance into a crusade.

Borg spreadsheet program: Locutus 1-2-3.

Borg T-shirt: I survived Borg assimilation and all I got was this stupid t-shirt.

BorgCola: not the choice of the Next Generation.

What would "... of Borg" say?

Ali: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, assimilated too you soon shall be.
Archbishop: You will be excommunicated.
Arthur Dent: The Earth is irrelevent (considering that it will be destroyed on the worst Tuesday there ever was!)
Astro: Rou rill ree rarimirated.
Avery Brooks: Good acting is futile.
Barney: Being assimilated is fun.
Barney: I am you, you are me, we're one happy collective
Bart: Assimilation sucks!
Baywatch: Prepare to be ah ... stimulated.
Berman: I will try to keep the legacy of assimilation alive.
Berman: Your NextGen, as it has been, is over.
Binary: 10010110011101010010110100110101101011010111.
Bjorn: Your serve will be returned. You will be humiliated. Advancement is futile.
Borg Wave v. 2.21: Your taglines have been assimilated.
Borg: Redundancy is irrelevant.
BorgerKing: we do it our way, your way is irrelevant.
British Collective: The Universe's favourite collective.
Bugs Bunny: What's up, Collective?
Bush: Read my lips. No new assimilations.
Caesar: I came, I saw, I assimilated.
Cancerman: The truth is irrelevant.
Capacitor: resistance is irrelavant.
Chakotay: Doing things the Maquis way is futile. You will do things the Borg way. (see "Learning Curve")
Chakotay: Tattoos are irrelevant. Your spirit guide will be assimilated as well.
Chandler: Could he be more assimilated?!
Chappel: servant of the Bones of Borg.
Charlie Brown: someday I'm gonna ASSIMILATE that football!!
Chekov: you vill be asseemilated. Reesiztance eez futile.
Clinton Borg: Inhaling is irrelevant.
Coffee: Prepare to be decaffeinated. Percolation is futile.
Coffee: Sleep is irrelevant.
Copy Protection: your rights to a backup are irrelavent
Count: 1 assimilation, ha ha ha, 2 assimilations, ha ha ha, 3 assimilations, ha ha ha...
Cream Cheese: I am on a collective roll
Crusher: These medical tests show that you've been assimilated!
Dad: your going to be assimalated if you like it or not, young man!
Daffy Duck: Yoooouuuuu'rreee Irrelevant!
Darmok at El-Adrel: The Collective at El-Adrel. Darmok in the Collective. Darmok of Borg.
Darth Vader: Luke, I assimilated your father
Data: Inquiry: Assimilation?
Data: Resistence is futile, fruitless, abortive, useless, purposeless, etc.
Dax: I've been assimilated nine times already!
DeLenn: You will be assimilated between the darkness and the light.
Descartes: I think, therefore I assimilate.
Dinero: You assimilatin' to me? I said, you assimilatin' to me?
Doc Brown: You will be assimilated. Great Scott!
Douglas Adams: You will be assimilated; share and enjoy.
Eastwood: Resistance makes my day.
Ebola: Vaccines are irrelevant. We are resistant. Prepare to be infected.
Elmer Fudd: Pwepawe to be aswimiwated.
Elvis: Death is irrelevant.
Escher: You will be tesselated.
Ferengi: Rule of Assimilation #1: Resistance is futile.
Fox Mulder: You can't assimilate the Truth!!
Geordi: Open main colective thrust cohesion alligners.
Grammar: I will be assimilated. You will be assimilated. He, she, it will be assimilated.
Grammy: And the assimilation goes to...
Grandpa Simpson: These new-fangled Borgs are nothing more than a waffle iron attached to a Lincoln stove!
Gump: Life is like an assimilation. Resistance is as resistance does.
Gypsie Borg: You'll soon be assimilated by a tall dark stranger
Homer: Resistence is .Ooooh, DONUTS!
Hooked-on-Phonics: Pripear tO Be AsIMAlatiD, RisIStins is fYootil
Horta: No Kill I.
Hugh: We want to assimilate Troi. Georgi is our friend. He can watch.
Ignorant: What does "Resistance is Futile" mean ?
Jack: Jill is coming up just behind me. She assimilated that other bucket of water.
James Borg: I'd like a martini. Assimilated, not stirred.
Janeway: Crying is futile. You will never make it home.
Jim Carrey: Allllllllll righty then! Prepare to be assimilated!
John Cleese: And now for something completely irrelevent: Resistance. Spam is futile.
John Sheridan: You will be assimilated STRAIGHT TO H***!!!!!!!
Jordan: Gravity is irrelevant.
Keanu: You're about to be assimilated. What do you do? What do you do?
Kennedy: Ask not what your collective can do for you, but what you can do for your collective
Lassie: Woof woof woof woof woof woof
Letterman: Top reason not to resist assimilation it is futile.
Macbeth: Is this resistance I see before me?
Mask: "Assimilatin'!"
McBorg's: Over 50 million assimilated.
McCoy: He's assimilated, Jim!
Mick Jagger: Satisfaction is irrelavent.
Microsoft: Competition is irrelevant. You will be compatible soon.
Montgomery Burns: Simpson, eh? Assimilate him!
NASA: We'll have to cut primary assimilation programs to fit all of our sleep subroutines within budget.
Nostalgic Gamer: Commodore 64 is futile. You will be emulated.
Number Five: Wouldn't you like to be assimilated too...
Odo: Resistance is futile. You will be arrested.
Oprah: Today, We focus on assimlating, And the Futile races who try to stop us.
O.J.: Oh no! My arm attachment won't fit on!
O.J.: Prepare to be astounded. Conviction is futile.
Patrick Stewart: "To, be, or not to be? That is irrelevant, Number One"
PC: assimilation is irrelavent, I will be obsolete by the time it is done.
Pentium: Division is futile. You will be approximated.
Photographer of Borg: Say "Resistance is Futile!"
Picard: Make it futile.
Popeye: You will be askimilgrated.
Porky: You will be as-s-sim, as-s-sim, oh forget it.
Programmer: you want it when ?!!
Pyrokinetic: You will be incinerated.
Q: (Snaps fingers) You're assimilated!
Quark: Assimilation will cost you 5 bars of gold pressed latinum!
Quark: You know, there may be some profit in assimilation.
Quebec: Confederation is irrelevant. Assimilation is futile.
Rain Man: Resistance is futile, definately futile, definately.
Robin: Holy Assimilation, Batman! Resistance is futile!
Roget: Resistance is futile/useless/inconsequential. You will be assimilated/incorporated/joined.
Roosevelt, of Borg:The only thing we have to assimilate is assimilation itself!
Sandra Bullock: surfing is irrelevent, the internet is irrelevent, you will be assimilated!
Scotty: Captain, I canna' assimilate!
Scotty: I'll have it assimilated in four seconds, captain, you know I jus' canna change the laws o' physics!
Shatner: Resistance!is!Futile!....You!will-be!...assimilated!
Smurf: Resistance is Smurfy. Death is smurfy. Your smurfs will smurf the Borg.
soft drink: You will be carbonated.
Spam: Meat is irrelevant. You will be simulated.
Special Offer: Assimilations for a limited time only.
Spock: Living long is irrelevant. Prospering is irrelevant.
Spot: Your food and curtains will be assimilated.
Squirrel: You will be acornilated. Resistance is nuts.
Surgeon General: Assimilation can be hazardous to your health.
Teacher: Resistance is futile, you will be educated!
telemarketer: Are you interested in assimilation?
the Beatles: We all live in a great big giant cube, a great big giant cube, a great big giant cube.
The Borg: Calm, Cool and Collective...
The Borgles' (the Prefab 4 of 5) #1 Hit: We all sleep in a single subroutine.
the Daves: You will all be assimilated!
the Mighty Morphin' Power Borg: It's Assimilation Time!
James: I'd like a martini. Assimilated, not stirred.
Wicked Witch of the West: I'll assimilate you my pretty!
search engine: Precision is futile. All 1701 items found are 0% relevant.
Tim Allen: After assimilation, look at all the neat tools you get.
Toto: am I in Kansas?
Trans Universe Collective (TUC): The most comfortable way to assimilate.
Traveler: Assimilation will take you to a new plane of existence.
Trebek: For $200, it starts with "R" and is futile.
Troi: How do you feel about being assimilated?
Tweety: I did! I did attimuwate a Puddy Tat!
Uhura: Assimilating frequencies open, Captain.
ValuCollective: Assimilation mission at half off!? Sign me up!
Virus: your hard drive, as you have known it, has been assimilated and then formatted. (Haha.)
V-Chip: You will be ___imilated.
Wayne: You will be assimilatedoh yesyou will be assimilated!
Wesley: I can get the Collective out of any jam.
Wimpy: I will gladly assimilate you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
Windows '95: want to watch me crash and besmirch your data?
Wood: Do you catch my drift?
Worf: Assimilation is WITHOUT honor!!
Worf: It is not honorable, but it is my duty to assimilate you.
Xerox: All assimilation will be duplicated.
Yoda: Borg am I. Futile is resistance. Assimilate you, I will.
Zsa Zsa: Prepare to be assimilated dahling.

thanks to:
"Andrew Watts"

Emil "nobs"Obermayr